All or Nothing

So for a while I thought all or nothing thinking could only apply to food, exercising, and weight.  I mean i understood and could recognize all of those.  But lately I recognized it in a diff part of my life, and its truly really problematic. It's been creating problems for a while but i never really realized what the issue was.  So I mean i've always been the girl who is either in a serious relationship, or none at all.  I really dont have many guy friends, and those that are friends, really quickly end up being my boyfriend or i dont talk to them anymore.  as you're reading this you probably are thinking how could you not realize that this is totally all or nothing...but i've been this way for so long that i really never thought of it as a problem.  Like i never saw the point in having guy friends. Like idk, i guess that i figured if i like them as a friend, they wouldn't be a bad boyfriend.  Not only does this keep me from making guy friends, but it also tends to get me into serious relationships that would've been better as just friendships, but I didnt really make the distinction.  I see friendship with guys as the grey area that im not really comfortable with.  And then, the part that is even more problematic, is the idea that I can't just "talk" to a guy, or like take things slow.  If i like somebody, i am very quick to jump into a serious commitment.  I dont like the area, the grey area where there is no official title.  Like it leaves for room for ambiguity...and i feel like if there is no actual commitment, then im bound to get hurt.  I mean i keep telling myself that i wont jump in too quickly. I'll wait. I'll play hard to get.  I'll be careful and not wear my heart on my sleeve.  But i totally feel like i cant help it.  I physically do not know how not to get attached. I dont want to be attached. I dont want to fall so quickly so hard for some guy that prob will just end up hurting me? often because they are weirded out that im interested so seriously so quickly.  I feel like im doomed.  I dont know how to take things slow and its really sabatoging my relationships.  Its like the only times i have been able to take things slow and not be heart-broken, are the times when i really wasnt into the guy enough to care. I was able to take it slow because i didnt even know if i wanted it to begin with.